My Soul Was Craving a Simpler, Softer and Deeper Life
If you looked at my Instagram page it would show that I haven't been around as much the last two years.
After my son's wedding in the summer of 2022, I took a step back to reflect on my life, the people around me, my interests, and what truly matters to me. There were questions I needed to answer for myself. I also used this time to delve back into school to explore my passions.
Being a woman in her 50s, my soul was craving a simpler, softer, and deeper life. I needed to figure out what it meant. That's when I believe my midlife awakening began. I remember googling "midlife awakening," and it was like reading a description of what I was going through. The initial stage was emotional, almost as if I was losing a part of myself. Perhaps it was residue from my son's marriage – I was thrilled for him, but being his mother had been a significant part of my identity. It made me confront my age and contemplate who I truly wanted to be as I aged, the kind of mother-in-law and grandmother I aspired to be, and how I wanted my life to feel. I had so many questions, and to prevent feeling overwhelmed, I had to re-embrace some of my grounding practices.
“Being vulnerable is synonymous with being honest with oneself – the most beautiful part of being human.”
As the days passed, I started examining the aspects of myself that needed attention. I knew that if I desired a different life, I had to engage in some internal work. The first step in this process was embracing Vulnerability. It was, and still is, a challenging aspect for me, but I realized that being vulnerable is synonymous with being honest with oneself – the most beautiful part of being human. This vulnerability paved the way for my truths, which led to the second step: Acceptance. Once I truly embraced certain aspects of my life and acknowledged areas for improvement, a sense of peace enveloped me. My old habits of trying to fix everything kept resurfacing, but I learned the art of taking my time and being present with discomfort. This art led to my next lesson – Forgiveness. This is where the softness crept in. I had to address parts of my childhood that I had concealed behind a wall. The dance of vulnerability, acceptance, and forgiveness felt like an extended LP album, but eventually, it slowed down.
As I sifted through my life, I encountered a myriad of happy and sad memories. I felt grateful for all the hard lessons and people who had crossed my path for various reasons. I recognized how these experiences had shaped me and contemplated how I wanted my life to unfold moving forward.
Now, in my older and more present state, I have the power to decide the direction of my life, who I want to be, the experiences I want to embrace, and the kind of people I want to surround myself with. As I act and think of this power to shape my life I can let go of the outcome and I am ok with not knowing how it will all play out. I call it surrendered action; trusting ourselves, doing the work and trusting the universe will support us. At the end of the day, we hold the reins to our destiny, and that is a profound gift.
My midlife awakening has become a beautiful discovery of my strengths, lessons, dreams, and desires. So, here I am, giving it another shot towards my dreams and I give myself permission to keep trying no matter how many times it takes to make a life that feels right to me. I can't wait to see what unfolds.
-Rachel
If you are someone in their midlife awakening wanting coaching and self care practices to help this delicate time contact me to see how we can work together. I’d be honored to support you!
(Mental health plays a role in our well-being. If you are worried about your mental health or are worried about someone you know, there are resources and people out there who are willing to help, no matter what your situation. FindSupport.gov)
